childfree or childless?

There are 3 things in this world that people refuse to accept: an incurable bad back, directions without a map, and a woman who does not want a child.
Sarah did not want a child. She was 32, happy with her marriage, her job and her life. What she was unhappy about was the people around her who seemed to feel her choice not to have children was their business. People like her mother, her sister Gracie, her best friend Dodie, and her gynecologist, who reminded her, "You're not getting any younger." (Who is?)
One day, in a moment of intimacy when she and her mother were alone, Sarah attempted one last time to explain to her mother why she preferred to remain childless.
"Try to understand, Mom," she said. "I am not against children. I'm just against them for me. For Gracie, it's fine. She's a born mother. I just don't want to go through life with little gates all over the house and a bathtub full of ducks and boats. People who have children change, and it's scary. They lose part of themselves that I don't want to lose. It's like someone flipping a switch. All of a sudden you're not a person anymore. You're attached to another human being.
I don't want to be an extension of someone else's fever, someone else's hunger, pain, disappointment, and frustration. I had a wonderful childhood, but when I was a child I never began to appreciate all your work and sacrifice. What did you get out of it? A lot of slammed doors and a wooden pig that held recipes for your birthday. If I had children, Mom, I'd be having them for all the wrong reasons - because you wanted to be a grandmother or Steve wanted someone to carry on his name or I couldn't stand the pressure of people wanting to know why I don't have children. I don't think I'm selfish. I'm certainly not bitter or angry. I just feel I have a choice and I have every right to make it. Do you understand?"
Her mother nodded.

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a poem

one song can spark a moment

one flower can wake a dream

one tree can start a forest

one bird can herald spring

one handclasp lifts a soul

one star can guide a ship at sea

one word can frame the goal

one sunbeam lights a room

one candle wipes out darkness

one laugh will conquer gloom

one step must start each journey

one hope will raise our spirits

one touch can show you care

one voice can speak with wisdom

one heart can know what's true

one life can make the difference

it's up to YOU 

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imbau kenangan

mungkin aku masih dalam denial.. enggan mengakui yang masa yang gembira dan bebas itu sudah berlalu.. tidak kira bagaimana aku mahu menafikannya, realiti akan sentiasa menyedarkan aku.. lantaran itu, aku tidak mahu mengalah.. aku akan telusuri kembali masa selama sebulan di bumi Macau, China.. banyak kali pertama yang berlaku dalam sebulan itu.. aku akan tuliskan di sini.. apa yang berlaku selama 30 hari aku di sana.. namun begitu, aku akan post mengikut tarikh aku terbang ke sana bermula daripada 29 jun 2008... 

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apa yang dicari?

walaupun aku tidak kemas kini blog ini, tapi aku masih lihat siapa yang melawat dan mengapa blog ini dilawat.. menarik juga bila lihat kata-kata carian mereka.. resipi kek cawan, irman hilmi yang memang terang-terang lagi adalah melayu minimalis, kosmetik kegemaranku stila cosmetics pun ada.. ada juga carian kaya kopitiam yang aku telah tulis sekian lama.. mungkin ada pasaran untuk cerita itu tak.. nukilan seterusnya mungkin.. Selamat Hari Merdeka dan Selamat Berpuasa!!!

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akhirnya...

Nampaknya tempat ini sudah sangat berhabuk.. hampir 4 bulan tidak dikemaskini.. bukannya tiada sambungan internet atau perlu menyiapkan kerja kursus.. cuma rasa malas yang melanda, maka aku tidak menulis sejak sekian lama.. banyak yang telah berlaku dalam 4 bulan ini.. ada yang sudah berubah, ada pula yang masih kekal begitu.. sekitar bulan 6, aku cuma buat kerja sambilan di luar dan juga penterjemahan.. bulan 7, aku ke China selama sebulan mengikuti kursus musim panas bahasa Portugis anjuran universiti di sana.. bulan 8 pula aku sibuk menerima ijazah sarjana muda bahasa & linguistik dan menemui rakan-rakan yang balik bercuti musim panas di Malaysia.. aku masih belum mencari kerja tetap kerana sekarang sudah puasa, jadi alang-alang puasa, lepas raya baru mula bekerja.. tapi rasa macam hendak sambung belajar pulak.. mohon saja dahulu.. dapat atau tidak lain cerita.. kalau dapat perlu cari sponsor pula.. jadi buat masa ini, teruskan kerja sambilan penterjemahan yang agak lumayan juga.. tapi bosan pula duduk kat rumah.. sigh..

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